Final Part -- Dave Barry's Tricky Business

2nd Continuation -- " What i wanna know," said Arnie, " is why bleach?"
"What are you talking about?" said Phil.
" Always with the hurricane, people are buying bleach."
"SO?"
"So. what do they do with the bleach?"
"You need the bleach," said Phil. "In case."
The truth was that Phil had no idea what the bleach was for, even though, like most South Floridans, he firmly believed you needed some. Everybody bought it, because everybody else did. There were hundreds of thousands of gallons of emergency Clorox in cupboards all over South Florida, sitting,, ready and waiting, next to the emergency cans of Spam manufactured in 1987.
" In case of what? " said Arnie. " A hurricane comes, knocks down your house, your're gonna do a load of laundry?"
Phil looked at Arnie for a moment.
" Does it ever occur to you," he said, " that you think too much?"
" Thats exactly what my wife used to say," said Arnie. "She always bought bleach."
" So did my wife," said Phil.
The two old men sat silent for a moment, both thinking about their wives.

Hope you have enjoyed the irrelevance. Merry Christmas.

Icelandic -- how cool is that?

Bought the new Bjork CD. Know the woman who dressed in that goose outfit? Whoa her music is really wierd. In fact it at times does not sound like anything you have ever heard. Which is why a Newsweek review named 'Medulla' in this years' top 10 albums. I have rather strange taste in music like everything else so the songs are beginning to rub off on me. But what i found really odd was the black lyrics on dark brown background in the CD cover. Thinking of buying the other albums now.

Artist: Bjork
Song: Desired Constellation
Album: Medulla
It's tricky when
You feel that someone
Has done something
On your behalf
It's slippery when
Your sense of justice
Murmurs underneath
And you're asking yourself:
How am I going to make it right?
With a palmful of stars
I shake them like dice
Repeatedly
I throw them on the table
Until the desired constellation appears
And I ask myself:
How am I going to make it right?
How am I going to make it right?

Listen to this song -- if you dare.

Spam is a can food

I strangely received this mail that indicated [spam] but still went into my inbox. Its rather interesting really. I wonder if its some experiment on greed. Just hopefully not a virus.

FROM: MR. Ahmed KhaziAUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA.OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO DIRECT TEL.00226 76-53-32-74
Dear Friend , (TOP SECRET)
I am Mr.(Ahmed Khazi) the director in charge of auditing and accountingsection of International Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina-faso in WestAfrica with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a businesstransaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of thetransaction.During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came acrossa very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31stOctober 1999 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his accountwith this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either fromhis family or relation before our discovery to this development.Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself and partnersto enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during thetime of execution. The said amount was U.S $15M (fifteenmillion United Statesdollars). As it may interest you to know, I got your impressive informationthrough the Bukinab chamber of commerce on foreign business relations herein Ouaga. Burkina-faso.Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafidenext of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer thismoney to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and neededinformation will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interestand willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great businessopportunity.In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position inthis country as a civil servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operatea foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side duringthe time of transfer because I work in this bank.This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow whowill forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath tothe Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the moneyto be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verificationand clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the wholemoney will be remitted from to your own designation bank account. I willnot fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smoothconclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the totalsum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside to take care of expensesthat may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while65% will be for me.Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as I am still in serviceand intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you.Iwill be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirmthe money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequentsharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and furtherinvestment, either in your country or any country you advice us to investin. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when I hear from you.Please Kindley send your respond here/ahmed_khazi01@post.czYours faithfully,Mr.AHMED

Ah yes, everyone is a friend when it comes to 15 million dollars. Burkina Faso? This guy should write novels man, not spam mail. Merry Christmas everyone, hope money falls on your lap this festive season. But even if it doesnt, may God grant you peace, happiness and satisfaction in the things that you already have.

Maw debate

After checking numerous websites mainly dealing with the profitable business of exporting fish maw, i found one http://www.ibcbd.net/export.htm that clarifies "Fish Maw: Fish Maw is a super exportable fish food item. The stomach of fish is called Fish Maw. As well as shrimps & other white fish, Bangladesh earns substantial foreign currency exporting fish maw to Thailand, Hong Kong, China, Japan, Korea & all over the world also. All these countries demand these products for preparations of soups to a great extend. Presently, IBC is exporting this to different countries with a large scale. "
Does i think my guess of fish belly is the closest compared to lips and lungs. Mawstick?

My brother now thinks he is a superhero 

lawn mawer

I went with my australian college friends to a chinese restaurant in Raffles Place for dinner yesterday. Apparently, from the newspaper cut out pasted at the front door: 'the must try is their thick fish maw soup.' So, as can be expected with Abel on the scene, the whole night was a lenghty punning session on the word maw. This was also due to the fact that no one really knew what maw was. Well, like all good Singaporeans, we ate what others tell us to. As the waitress evenly distributed the fish maw soup into our individual bowls,
Abel: "The last bowl usually gets MORE!"
Jason:" But in this case, they all have MAW". hahaha. It got to the point where Suyen asked "anyone wants to order more?" And we all started laughing. AH.. Maw puns welcomed.
Jokes aside, chambers dictionary defines maw as the jaws throat or stomach of a voracious animal. Wonder if a fish is really a voracious animal? Macmillan uses it in a literary way as well, meaning 'something that seems to open up and suck you in completely'. e.g the giant maw of show business. But then thinks it can also refer to the mouth. Thus, i am still entirely confused on what thick fish maw soup is really made of, but more importantly, it did taste good. More maw anyone?

101 tips to be a tipster

Singaporean Tip 1: Do you realise how Singaporeans obey the 'stand behind the yellow line rule" but not the yellow arrows one? When its about our own safety we play it safe, when its about letting others come out first, we cant be bothered. Which really speaks volumes for our decorum levels. Isnt it really faster for both sides if the alighting passengers didnt have to budge and squirm their way out of the train!? Are we all SO in a rush or just plain discourteous, selfish people. Everytime i have waited at the sides these few days i feel alone and stupid. But watching the rest of the people bungle their way in only to have to stand anyway is really rather amusing. But all that weaving and contorting in a so called world class transport system is really rather ironic. A bunch of cavemen using gas lit fires. haha.
Daily Tip 1: When you cant remember your password to anything, try double checking your username. It might not be the password that is incorrect.
Christmas Tip 1: Dont buy shaking singing Christmas trees. Its the 11th commandment. God would clearly have been irked too.

G for Galilao Galilei

I bought a Galileo thermometer while on holiday. Frankly i find it really intriguing. But always too expensive. Until i saw a cheap A$2 replica one. Its kind of pathetic really compared to the really scientific looking ones. But hey, i was still proud to own one. Until i read the accompaying information slip. Spelling errors have been included for effect. "Galileo Buoyancy thermometer: No preoise date can be attributed to the inventionof the themrmometer, although it is ... " Fortunately, the rest of the historical background has less mistakes.
The explanation is quite good.. really. " ....it is based on simple physical laws (Archimedes principle) A body which is floating in a fluid sinks with an increase of temperature since the specific density of the fluid decreases in reverse, a fall in temperature leads to an increase in specific density, causing the body to rise." I am sure nuclear physicists have no problem understanding that. It continues, "In Galileo's thermometer temperatures are marked on small discs attached to potentially floating spheres. The lowest floating spheres. The lowest floating ball tells the temperature." So where in that paragraph did the balls come in?
Having concluded that i bought a fake one probably made in China, i am getting suspicious that it does not tell the temperature but merely how cheapskate one can be. When i grow up, i am getting the real thing (photos to be included), either that, or spend the money going to Malacca for my honeymoon.