Micro soft words

Let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich, let the blind say I can see. It’s what the Lord has done in me.

My words appear furiously on screen as I have read it on peoples’ lips. Fast and furious as only our hands and fingers can manage it. Hopefully my facial muscles can keep up.
And my sense of sight, smell, taste, touch, can they keep up too? I must say that they have done well by me so far.
Television and books tell me that the hands of the mute dance gracefully in the air. Their fingers are long and slender, pale as though vulnerable and expressing more adequately than verbal speech can ever do so. My fingers are fat and stumpy. Pale, and/but pasty’s more the word. One doesn’t need beautiful fingers to talk, really.

……. To be continued by abel. Louise Tay

World Chess Championships.

I will be the first to admit that chess has a "nerdy" stigma attached to it. It just seems to involve so much thinking doesnt it? But just like the show "Revenge of the Nerds", minorities can become powerful if they break out of their shell. Although i really doubt that the show had any such moral intentions in the first place.
Then again, chess is actually extremely 'huge' in Singapore, especially with a new generation of children that are being cultivated to NOT grow up with video games. Coupled with the fact the Singaporeans do not ice skate and sky dive. Furthermore, they actually find chess exciting. Yes, black and white pieces moving around a checkered board may in fact constituite fun.
America is actually promoting chess to many poorer nieghbourhoods in order to turn less fortunate children away from crime. Apparently chess relieves teenage angst in a more socially acceptable way, not to mention its highly cost-effective. I am not trying to officially sanction my "boring" lifestyle. Its just that my introduction got a bit out of hand. The lady setting up many chess schools in America goes by the name of Susan Polgar and is the elder sister of Judit, who is currently the only female in top 10 (maybe 20-30) world chess rankings.
While Susan may have migrated to the USA, her younger sister is playing for Hungary in the now ongoing world-chess championships. Frankly, i dont mind a women winning the tournament because it doesnt prove anything in the world of chess. Its just means you are better at chess,which is about mental toughness and chess skill, which is also brain related. And Judit has quite a violent attacking style that i rather (unsuccessfully) try to employ.
The round-robin style championships also features Kasimdzhanov from Uzbekistan, which i also have no qualms if he wins. Mainly due to him being the least favourite to succeed in doing so. A respected chess statician (yes they have that too), sadly put him with a meagre 3% chance. I mean its already bad enough that he has an unspellable name and comes from an unpronouncable country. So, if he really isnt that fancied, and he wins, he must really have done something special to overcome the odds. Hence he is good for my books.
Next up is Michael Adams from England. And i quite like him because i watch English Premiere League soccer.
My most favourite though is Alexander Morozevich. Not only because his first name starts with an A. But he has a crazed, unpredictable, style that people cant define. With so much theory in chess due to technological advancements, he has been dubbed a breath of fresh air. And i think he is the most handsome of the lot too.
Basically, everyone from Asia supports Vishy Anand from India to win. But then again "Russian" states are inherently in Asia. He is the oldest contestant and has symphathy votes for only being 2nd to Kasparov, who recently retired.
Topalov from Bulgaria is the most solid attacker of the lot, which is a euphemism that he is good cause he attacks with no remorse at the right times and plays defensively also at accurate moments. This makes him cool with me too, because he has a very strong chance of winning.
That leaves Peter Leko from Hungary and Peter Svidler from Russia. Svidler is rather cute and chubby and has a earring like the ancient Agassi. You can't really be against such characters. Leko is to me too safe a player and gets lots of draws. If in principle, the winner plays Kramnik who also plays ultra defensively, it will make for a very boring spectacle. However, Leko plays soccer and is the friendliest to journalists. Furthermore, Peter is the name of Louise's dad.
This thus concludes the dilemma of chess playing. I dedicate it to Louise, who often puts up with irrelevant chess material that i bombard her with at highly inconvenient times. Like when Hippopotamuses and Orang Utans are ransacking our fridge. Jokes aside, Hippopotamus and Orang Utan are names of 2 chess openings. Which casts all doubts aside for you, the reader, that chess players are mentally disturbed.

The Coin Update

Breaking news! Due to the growing frustration of receiving change that looks stressfully identical, the Canadian mint has come up with a creative solution.
They have re-issued the 25 cent coin with a red crest in the centre. This differs from the 2 dollar coin which if you recall accurately from my former post had a gold round centre. The new 25 cent coin was in circulation since last year and in the meantime, consumers have to fumble with the amazing 7 different coins.
I wonder if many Canadians are avid coin collectors? Because i am really sick (and utterly confused) of their coins after only 5 weeks. HAHAHA.

They are addicted to "cool" one liners, making the rest of the country addicted to them.  

Flying Saucers are Square

When i showed the photo above to Louise, she questioned why i was " taking photos of saucy women". Here's a good a reason as any.
As is rather obvious now, Canada has this fast food restaurant called Wendy's. In fact i have seen it at 3 different locations and have not spotted a single Burger King. The identity of Wendy's franchise is their square meat patties. Which from personal experience tastes exactly the same as round plastic. This reminds me very much of curly fries and root beer float of A&W, Burger King's Rendang and Mushroom Swiss burgers and Macdonalds Samurai burger which tricked people to thinking that a sauce is special as long as its not revealed (only problem was that people evolved taste buds around 4 billion years ago).
A recent advertisement of Wendy's triple burger went with this final catchphrase; "Live large, eat large". Can someone explicitly tell me what in the world does 'live large' actually mean? "Live dangerously"? "Live your life to the fullest"? (If this is indeed it, fast food is certainly lamer than anyone expected). "Live on the edge"? , because square patties has more edges than round ones? Indicating that the advertised one has a whopping (mind the pun on Burger King) 3 of these.
Well, probably it was a euphemism for 'since most of the population is suffering obseity, we might as well all continue eating oversized burgers till we die'. But probably not many will realise that the advertisement is poking fun at them anyway (if it is) How can you imagine the insidiousness of a brand picturing a freckled girl called Wendy?

BOREDOM

Boredom! Go read yourself a poem.
Why, write you a rhyme, you tell me.
Something about monotony-
Talk about tedium, encourage ennui,
Refine the dullness you struggle to denounce.
Boredom! Go catch yourself a buzzy bee.
When sitting down is such a crime,
The electric chair of languor it must seem.
Your hunched back nests much- a-flittering thoughts
Quiescent, they appear to be.
Boredom! Go get a manicure.
Your nails are all bitten down.
Even Victorian ladies sit on their hands
As they watch the motions of the clock.
Till tea time drags them by their locks.
Boredom! Go watch a person sleep in concert.
Nothing like being a voyeur works-
Memorize the features of normality,
Till you recognize what insanity
Fits the restless mind of a dormant body.
Boredom! “Let me entertain you”
The artistes chime in unison-
“There’s no such feeling, no such word”
Only if you
“Let me entertain you”.

Till your resilience snaps.

And you resolve:
“There’s no such feeling, no such word”
Because the restless mind in the dormant body
Still fights for purpose, task and focus
For more than the sound of slight normality.

Louise Tay

Civilizations 9000

The title of this post has been adpated from 2 highly popular PC software -- namly Chessmaster 9000 and the strategy game Civilization which i think is in the IV-th expansion.
Having been to Niagara Falls yesterday, it was quite shocking to see the tonnes of commercialization around the awesome beauty of a God-created waterfall. It could be depressing but then most of the world is anyway. Which is why we must focus on the marvellous creation of God. Or at least try. This endeavour is made doubly hard when you can only take in a full picture of Niagara Falls with towering skyscrapers and a balloon advertisement hovering above the natural wonder.
The bus travels along "Falls avenue" which is teeming with people and commercial shops like Coca Cola and Herseys, which was a nice place in all honesty. Realise how i said "a nice place" mainly because the replica antiques from Coca-Cola are all made in China, which irritated me. However, they lose maximum points for having a Coca-Cola chess set that had a coke bottle carrying- polar bear as the king, which is sacrosanct and therefore loses my vote.
Walking around the resort -like place gave me the impression that there were around 2 casinos, 3 simulation thrill rides, 5 wax musuems and 7 haunted house attractions. Not to mention, 29 game arcades, a Ripleys BELIEVE it or not museum and a life size maze among other money spinning ventures.
I do realise its the reality of living in a world undergoing globalisation. Lets not argue about this right now, i am taking a full semester course on it. However, i did pay $13 Canadian to ride a ferry called "Maid of the Mist" into the heart of the falls. And i also spent $10 on a Journey behind the Falls through man- made tunneling. There were other attractions like walking along white water rapids and a cable car ride that i did not have enough time to go to because i got lost in the shopping milieu. They are quite extraodinary adventures and i guess to be frank, commercialization does enhance the Falls experience somewhat. However, both of my trips was made funnily ironic by the guides handing out identical raincoats that were blue and yellow in colour.
I have posted what i believe to be an interesting photo of a Hersey's Kisses chocolate seemingly falling on a "Falls" street sign. Its kind of significant of the way the search for wealth is going to flatten the world God created. But then, thankfully, God sent a rainbow that day, to remind me at least, of how He is in control of everything that is happening in this world. My thoughts for the day were poignantly summed up in an article i read on the facts of the Falls.
" The million of gallons of water that flows from the Falls every minute is enough to fill over a million bathtubs."

Waterfalls, skyscrapers rise. 

The promise of God, in the midst of commercialisation.  

Skunk Smell remedy

Skunk Smell Remedy: 1 quart 3% peroxide, 1/4 c baking soda, 1 tbs liquid hand soap. Mix all three ingredients together.

I saw this in the shop window today, and it left me frozen and balking in astonishment. I wonder what Skunk Smell smells like. Or would it be too self-indulgent to wonder what I smell like. While I do not eagerly announce that I am the above- mentioned pungent minister, I am honest about my impairment. This is that I am unable to smell. Oh no don’t pity me because I don’t do the pitying thing myself. What you never had in the first place you don’t miss. The only issue I have is that it has left me wondering of the workings of my infamous defense mechanism. Now that is a mystery to me.

So the thing is, after the disturbing information has seeped into my memory like some bad eucalyptus taste left in my mouth, I arrived at my favorite spot near some human hatch. And there, in a distance a strange boy stared at me. Of course I did the most ordinary thing and looked about to see if it was someone else that perhaps he knew. But no- no antelope, fellow skunk or human in sight. So I shrugged my black and white shoulders and continued digging.
But after a while, I could no longer bear the eyes boring into my furry back and turned about to look at him. If I were more certain of my capabilities, I would say that he lifted his head and gave the air a surreptitious whiff. Now, something you have to understand is that a skunk would have to feel threatened or cornered before he emits his deadly stench. Why in this case, the only emotion I felt was indignation. This staring game was carrying too far. Could I feel threatened enough? Or cornered?

Any expression of disgust or a shout of , “horror!” or running away would be indication of my true performance. But instead, he called three other friends over and the gawking continued. Perhaps some time elapsed before they got bored and walked away talking about waking up to reindeers in their kitchen.

Louise Tay
(as promised to my dear.ps/ skunk smell remedy is real)

Modern History.

You know how many people have blogs and for every post they more or less tell you what they did for the day? It appears that their blog is their diary. Only that they dont reveal that many secrets because the internet isnt exactly the most private of places.
Let me tell you what i had for dinner today. In essence, Queens University has a more flexible meal structure than UWA, in that you load a certain number of meals and "flex dollars" onto your student card and you can eat up to that limit anywhere on campus. The pre-determined meals are more or less like normal buffet style dining in selected areas, which function very much as cafeteria.
Having eaten military meals and combat rations i would say my dinner comprising of shredded ham, turkey and steak coupled with letteuce, cheese and tomatoes from the salad bar was quite appetizing. I also had westernized lemon chicken with even more westerned rice with hint of thyme. I added some pasta and had 2 cups of apple juice. For afters, i had a pumpkin pie and a cookie. I think for $8 CAN it was quite reasonable, although i do experience first hand that cooking is undoubtedly cheaper.
However, i was told that it is the same menu everyday. Very much the same in fact, if you consider leftovers. Furthermore, i seem to be used to combat dining, which sounds like an oxymoron, but makes you eat every meal in exactly and approximately 15 minutes.
This thus concludes my really boring post for a really dull, lecture-filled, first day at school, monday. I have effectively captured a historic slice of my life, somewhat for all eternity, in a modern method of communication. Which thoroughly reminds me of my dining venue. Ban Righ Hall -- 'dine in style, in a truly historic setting' they advertised. Well, the size of the hall was proabably the only thing that seemed ancient. The chairs were made to look old being those replica heavy wooden ones. I naively expected to see chandeliers instead of cornices. And the right smack in the middle salad bar was a steely aluminium, flourescent-lighted, mass produced object. But what really struck me was the ease of returning trays. There wasnt any need to throw leftovers and then separate the utensils; the whole tray was left on a conveyor belt which rolled your garbage into another compartment. Much like making it history.

More strange things in Kingston.

Following on from my post last time out, i have decided to act like some shallow traveller to a strange new world who thinks that only home is normal. However, i must stress that Canadian coins still baffle me. And if you have been reading this blog regularly (i pity you by the way, this site is just pure nonsense), I have spotted more queer animals.
I am absolutely sure i saw a skunk rummaging through a house garden. NO, i didnt smell it, which if you were thinking of such a lame joke; might be caused by reading my blog too much. I still might not have a camera to back up my similar beaver claims but i had 3 other friends who saw it this time.
Unfortunately, my hope of seeing reindeers in Canada have been dashed. Apparently someone kindly informed me that terrorists have been targeting Santa's pets in a hope of spreading depression to kids during Christmas festivities. Either that or reindeer actually come from the scandinavian countries. So i have been thinking of moose (which the plural of is meese, if you are ill informed -- as in goose) , or have been watching too many American movies.
Finally, to complete my total misunderstanding of Canada, i went to a Chinese restaurant. Which being Chinese is normal, only problem is that fortune cookies are wierd. Not to mention a totally western figment of imagination. Frankly, i cannot ever remember eating a fortune cookie in Singapore, although almost every other Chinese restaurant in the world is named something to the inkling of "good" fortune/luck, Inn/ restaurant/ cave).
I must say i ate the funny triangular shaped cookie with more trepidation than reading the fortune slip. Mine read " Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned", which doesnt make sense because if i knew what my fate was i would not need to find an alternative path in the first place? Arnt fortune cookies supposed to tell me my fate? As in tell me whether i will have good fortune or take a turn for the worst? So am i supposed to not depart from the path after reading this fortune slip or before? HAHAHA. Thats if you belive in such things, mind you.
My friend's one was also interesting, it read "Keep your plans secret for now". Which is really irritating if you are eating with friends because they would start bugging you for your plans on everything after reviewing your fortune slip. So if you hadnt eaten a fortune cookie your plans would be more secret than if you had anyway. Or maybe the printers of fortune slips are so intelligent that they know if you picked up such a slip your friends would purposely coax you to say something, and you would be careful not to tell. Thats what better fortune calls for, you never know what bad thing might happen if you did not keep your plans secret. The slip doesnt explicitly tell you. Maybe if you accidentally told someone your "secret" plans, your plans wouldnt be secret anymore. HORROR! Basically people encounter some bad "luck" and they immediately think back to that day at the restaurant -- oh dear! they must have told someone some of their secret plans. The fortune cookie came true!
So you go back to the restaurant for another meal because you know this fortune cookie business is powerful, viola, it says " Ne Quittez pas la voie que le distin vous a choisie". Or no! It is of utmost importance to my future and i dont understand my fortune slip. Your heart sinks, you bite the plate, then you are enlightened. The slip says" Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned" in French. The reverse side is in English so as to probably cater for French speakers visiting from Montreal. Culturally relevant fortune cookies, definitely the real thing. Its the same instruction you got last time you came. What can it mean? Maybe your fate is to not depart from eating at this restaurant. Maybe this restaurant has only a select few phrashes of fortune slips. Maybe they reuse them.

Things i dont really understand in Kingston

The first thing i realised about Canada that really troubled me was the coin problem. Basically they have 5 different denominations of coins. Almost as bad and confusing as the church. The lowest value is the 1cent coin which looks like the old Singaporean 1cent. Copper coloured and rather tiny. The next is a 5 cent coin that is actually thick and quite big. The 5 cent is actually thicker and bigger than the 10 cent coin. In fact the 10 cent is minisculy smaller than the 1 cent but of the same thickness. Only that the 10 cent coin is silver and the 1 cent is copper. There is also the 25 cent coin. YES!! A 25 cent coin. Which i think is roughly twice the size of a 10 cent coin but of the same thickness. Next we have the 1 dollar coin which is gold in colour. The 2 dollar coin is slightly bigger than the 1 dollar coin and is silver with a golden centre. Which means i was wrong at the start. There are 6 different canadian coins, not five.
For instance, I paid for dinner today which was $9.15. I cleverly gave the vendor exactly $10.15, 2 five dollar notes and one 10-cent coin and one 5-cent coin. In the end he gave me back 4 , 25-cent coins.

Real Artificial Flavourings

Hey, i think my cyborg generated name is quite cool. Maybe its because my name is short. haha. To try that too, go to Mishi's page that i have a link on my sidebar. Yes, just scroll and navigate through the mess.
Anyway, Capybara is the largest rodent in the world. They actually have a web page dedicated to them. http://www.rebsig.com/capybara/
I am not sure what is more scary, that someone idolises them or that they are big and ugly.

Conversations with a Jap girl

I currently have a hall mate who is a Japanese girl staying 2 doors away from me.
I had a recent conversation with her that went something like this:
Me: I see you went shopping. ( pointing to the carton of mineral water and comforter she just bought)
Jap gal: Yes
Me: But it isnt really cold yet, why the big comforter?
Jap gal: No, me take taxi. ( Obviously referring to comfort cabs of Singapore)
Me: Sorry, can you tell me your name again?
Jap gal: (some unpronouncable thing) [i now know its Chikkako- because they pinned signs of our names on our doors]
Me: What university do you come from? (i regretted asking this the moment it left my mouth)
Jap gal: (Another unpronouncable thing)
Me: Do you have the new version of the internet startup CD i can borrow?
Jap gal: Huh? sorry my English not very good.
Me: Oh thats ok, my Japanese is not any good either. HAHA.
Jap gal: Ya.