Macdonalds is evil

If you truly need prove that Macdonalds is an evil organisation, you need look no further than their mascot. He grins madly and encourages kids to wear oversized shiny red boots. Furthermore, he is tatooed red and white all over his face.
But now: there is shocking NEW evidence of the devilish schemes of Macdonald's. Their fries are twisted. And so will your fate if you eat these ghastly distortions. Despite the warnings of A&W's failed curly fries campaign and their subsequent financial problems, MacDonald's has adopted the same twisted idea.
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, do not be fooled by incompetent service, gallons of sugar filled sodas and unhealthy burgers. These things are only there to distract us from the real plot of Macs; which is making you evil from eating twister fries. Dont be twisted, eat straight.